Four years ago...

Four years ago today.

Wow... some serious thinking.... reminiscing.... emotions..... seriously.

Four years ago today... I was hugely fat. We're talking "OH.MY.GOSH... are you having triplets?" fat.
Four years ago today... I was in a hospital bed... giving birth to the most beautiful boy ever (don't challenge me - I'll fight ya over this one).

The most beautiful boy... that would go to the most perfect family that was meant for him.

The most beautiful boy... who went to live with two beautiful parents, who wouldn't be parents if it wasn't for him.

The most beautiful boy... that I will always hold in my mind and in my heart.

The most beautiful boy... that is like me in so many way, but is more like his parents - just as he should be.

The most beautiful boy... who will forever leave me a mother, but not a parent. I'm how he got here, not who was meant to raise him.

The most beautiful boy... who is loved by so many. So many who will also hold him forever in their hearts.

The most beautiful boy... who now has a most beautiful eternal forever family.

The most beautiful intelligent, adorable, outgoing, creative little boy who is being taught and raised by two incredibly awesome parents who love each other, who want nothing but the very best for him.

Four years ago (and two days) my heart was torn in half.

Four years ago (and two days), the Lord held my hand and guided me through the most difficult, heart wrenching, and overwhelming experience of my life.

Four years and two days ago, I learned what unconditional love was. I was given a tiny glimpse of the love Jesus Christ has for us all.

Four years ago today, I became a different person - and I am by far better for it.

Happy Birthday Little Man!

16 comments:

kareen said...

Bless you sweet heart

Tracy said...

As I'm typing through my tears, I cannot express the awe and inspirtation you stirred in my heart this morning. You are so brave and loving. God carried you then and continues to carry you now. I, myself was adopted as an infant, as was my sister. I've always had a special place in my heart for my birth mother, though I've never known her and most likely never will. I pray for her and hope she has a happy life. She gave me a chance to live. WHAT A GIFT! God Bless You.

Jana said...

Happy birthday to the little guy, I hope he knows how blessed & loved he is.

Shirley said...

GIANT HUGS to you and happy birthday to the little man!

Sandie said...

I think you are incredible... awesome... blessed. And brave and wonderful. I could go on. I'm in the process of trying to adopt. I managed to have one baby on my own.. but I'd like to adopt. It's expensive, because I have to go to China. There aren't any babies in Canada. Not for years and years on a waiting list. If there were more amazing people like you... we would all be able to hold a baby. My oldest sister is adopted as well, and I can't imagine life without her. I can't tell you how much I think of you. I'll say some prayers for you today, that your pain is eased. And on behalf of many... Thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

HEATHER!!!!! SOB!!!! You blessed our family more than we could ever thank you for when you placed your perfect little boy in our arms! My heart aches everytime I think of what you did for us! The little man is having a beautiful birthday! He's happy. Heather, you are the perfect example of a mothers love
With much love from us this day!

Anonymous said...

I am at a loss for words. Looking at my children I don't know how you could possibly have done such a thing. I love my children and God gave them to me to raise not to someone else to raise.

Mom/Grandma said...

Isn't is comforting to know that we are one grand, wonderful family of a loving Father-in-Heaven who watches over us and holds us in his arms. Isn't it comforting to know that you gave him the greatest gift possible - the sealing covenant - so in the end we can all be together with the Father of us all. Ours not to hold in this life, but forever and always in our hearts and a part of our eternal family. Happy Birthday, Grandson!

melissa said...

((hugs)) this post moved me to tears.

hope the little guy has a wonderful birthday

Lorrie said...

What a sweet post. You brought tears to my eyes.. and touched my heart.
God Bless you for your unselfish act of love!

Kristy said...

Oh, man! That hit without warning -- but it's good to read a blog and be moved to tears.

Good for you for making such a difficult decision that was clearly the right one.

I'm proud to know you!

Melodee said...

Heather!
I didn't even realize you had a blog and found this post this morning...I forwared it on to our Birthmom also...I was already in tears just reading your beautiful story and then I read the response from the adoptive parents and that just made me weep even more...I know just how she feels...Gods love is so great and so is YOURS!
Happy birthday to your little guy today!!
hugs!!
Melodee

SageHen said...

God will bless you for your choice.

Becky M said...

WOW Heather I never knew. What a wonderful fabulous thing for you to do.

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing this with us - what a wonderful post.

Sheri said...

Of course you know how proud I am of you, and We together, know what a blessing and sacrifice it is to see your child in someone else's arms. It was the best thing for you as an infant, and I know how hard it was for you to see Dylan go. But remember how happy his family is and how grateful they are for you and your generous gift. YOU rock my world, your parents are the best! I love you!