Relief.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. I work my day job anywhere from 10-12 hours a day. Before coming to work, I try to hit the gym (at 5am) and get my work out in because I know that once I’m off from work, it’s full speed ahead to get thigns ready for Steve to go to work and to get dinner on the table. Then, it's doing the small/quick cleaning that absolutely needs to be done. After tha, it's a nightmare if I have other things (NYOBC, Enrichment Night, etc) or any design assignments to do (the world seems to fall apart if I just want to sit down and relax for a rew moments).

Normally I jet home from work, cook dinner, get Steve’s lunch/dinner packed, get him out the door to work, then tidy/clean the house before I crash into bed (sometimes around 1 or 2 in the morning). Each of us have chores in our house, and they change every other week based on the chore cards pulled (with the exception of Kim always having her bedroom and the guest bathroom. Steve and I always rotate our bathroom with our bedroom.). It’s become an increasingly difficult challenge/battle for everyone to get their chores done so that our house maintains some sense of cleanliness and decorum. I don’t invite people over for lunch (coworkers) because I never know what our house is going to look like when I get there. I don’t have time to sit and relax after work because there’s too much to do around our house. The state of our home isn’t due to one culprit – it’s 3 of them (sometimes 4), US. It’s everyone’s fault.

50 years ago, expectations of wives were so much different than society places on us now. But, I still feel the obligation to meet the needs of a 1950’s wife. Have a perfectly immaculate house. A hot, nutritious and incredible culinary delight on the table fit for a king. All of the laundry clean, folded, pressed (if necessary) and put away on a daily basis (doesn’t happen at my house). Each room of our house immaculately cleaned, and the floors shining. Beds made, pillows fluffed. I’m sure there are grundles of other things that were expected back then too, but those are the ones most pressing on my mind at the moment. Reality is, as much as I would like to be able to do all of those things – I can’t. I tried. Believe me I tried. I don’t know how mothers with children do it. I know some women who accept the tings that fall, and move on continuing to strive for perfection. I know others who let it fall, and blame it on others. I know some women, who accept how things are, work to get better, and live life how it was intended. The latter is who I would like to be.

So, I decided to roll with the punches and hired a cleaning assistant (cleaning lady, cleaning staff, home hygiene assistant… it’s all the same). Honestly, I feel relieved. I’m relieved to know that I won’t have to worry about whether the guest bathroom toilet is clean. I’m relieved to know that the kitchen floor will be scrubbed. I’m relieved to know that the things I simply don’t have time for will be done for me. I’m relieved to know that I won’t feel like I need to bitch and remind people (sometimes myself included) to do their part to maintain our home. I’m REALLY looking forward to coming home from work on Monday to a clean home and to being able to relax and just do a few things that I enjoy – or even absolutely nothing. The cost is quite a lot less than I expected it to be, and it’s going to be equally split among everyone. In reality, it’s a small amount for the peace that I think it will help bring back to our home!

So, I’m accepting OUR faults, have found a solution (although all of the individuals aren’t happy with the solution) and can’t wait to see how it goes. Yay to me!
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