A New Kind of Banking...

I read this today on Cheryl Manz's blog today, and cracked up! SERIOUSLY cracked up! My Ohio friend, Belynda and Heather H., would SO tell you that I've been doing this for years... YEARS I tell you! This is just cut and pasted from her blog.. so I can't take any of the creative genius credit!


A New Kind Of Banking...

so i have discovered this amazing new way to save money. see, i sat back and looked at things from a woman's point of view, and suddenly it hit me...saving money would be so much more fun if it was done in a manner that conceals the pain of actually stashing your money for some unforseeable expense in your future. with this new method, there is always the knowledge in the back of my mind that not only am i enjoying the process of tucking my money away for a rainy day, but also knowing that at any time that money can be reached within, oh, say 24 hours max. it's pure genius, really...and i'm not afraid to pat myself on the back a little for being the one to revolutionize this new, improved form of banking...

so the name of my savings method is called SHOP AND RETURN. yep, it's something that we woman have been doing for ages, never really realizing what an amazing money saving opportunity has been right at our fingertips all this time. it's simple...the second you have a few extra dollars in your pocket, you just drive to the nearest mall (or the scrapbook store, or the bookstore, or target, or any other place that tempts you to part with your hard earned money) and begin looking for things that you would love to have, but normally would refrain from buying, placing them in your cart with abandon and no guilt whatsoever (the guilt-free part is the biggest bonus to my new system-LOVE IT!) and with the knowledge that even though you are spending money NOW, you are actually saving money for later. (capice?) so then, when you have all those things that at that moment you just HAVE to have (aka all 8 colors of the new fall skirt from Marshall Fields that just arrived earlier this week, along with 4 new shirts, 5 sweaters and 3 pairs of shoes to finish off the outfits, the entire collection of newly released heidi swapp products (who cares if you have no idea what the smell that little pink iron is for...it's CUTE!) , and 2 copies of the latest book you have been watching for at barnes and noble (in case you lose the first copy before finishing it.) and see? before you know it you have $1500 packed away for a rainy day! it's truly AMAZING!!

now, the shopping part is the fun, easy part. we all love to shop, right? the more tricky part is deciding exactly what is going to be taken back and when. this is something that needs to be carefully and strategically planned. myself, i like to keep all the receipts safely tucked in a special portion of my purse, where it can be reached easily and without much searching. the merchandise is stored safely either on the floor of my closet (the more expensive stuff such as clothes and small animals) or in neatly lined up rows of shopping bags in the back of my SUV (small items, such as the box of tissues i bought last week and the bag of oreos that is going to outdate if i don't return it within 7 days) until either: A) i am almost out of gas money or B) i notice that there is a sale on one of my return items. (this always makes me feel like i'm getting more of a deal because while someone else can go through the checkout line in front of me and pay $5.99 for that purple pair of singing santa clause socks that are on sale for 25% off, they are PAYING me $8.97 to put those same socks on the shelf and mark them at the lower price.)

other bonuses to saving your money this way:
1.) shopping bags. who DOESN'T have a million uses for shopping bags? they are so versatile and colorful, no one can resist them. i have found that they are perfect for carrying large amounts of water short distances, and they make lovely quilts when sewn together. also, i like to use them as suitcases when i need to leave the country quickly. (this is met with rave reviews from airport security. they simple dump, search, and smoosh it all back in there in a matter of seconds.)
2.) not only can you save your money with the shop and return method, there are also many amazing opportunities that you will come across that never would have presented themselves had you not chosen this form of banking...for example: what other bank offers free samples of sugarcoated nuts, hand massages and fountains to throw money in every 100 feet or so? (the fountains with the change brings to mind another form of banking i like to call "FINDERS KEEPERS" but we'll leave that for another day...)
3.) exercise. now i'm not saying that you should join that scary band of people who wear the disturbing combination of tennis shoes and business suits and call themselves "THE MALL WALKERS", all i'm saying is that all that walking and shopping is bound to burn a few extra calories ...

so i'm sure you can see the benefit of this new and amazing form of banking. so far it is working splendidly for me...i currently have about $400 invested right now and with christmas coming, believe me, it's a much appreciated supply of money.if you are interested in my this new, savvy form of banking, please contact me directly and i will send you one of our free invisible brochures.SHOP AND RETURN IS THE NEW HIP WAY TO DO YOUR BANKING...START TODAY AND BE AMAZED AT THE MONEY YOU WILL SAVE!
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